The 52nd Eurovision Song Contest
Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, Finland
May 10 and 12, 2007

Where Doris and her crack team of investigative reporters keep you posted on the efforts of all the entrants
(and potential entrants) of the extremely important Eurovision Song Contest 2007.
The draw was made in late February, and here is where everyone will sing in the semi and in the final.

1. BULGARIA VODA performed by ELITSA TODOROVA and STOYAN YANKULOV: Assuming the Romanians don't complain about Elitsa's surname starting with 'Todo', this could well be the first song from a country with a wholly unremarkable Euro career so far which gets the voters reaching for the phone.
2. ISRAEL PUSH THE BUTTON performed by TEAPACKS: Don't tell the Sugababes, but Israel has chosen. This is the song which could ruffle a few feathers as it is understood to have a few political undertones. Ooh-er.
3. CYPRUS COMME CI, COMME CA performed by EVRIDIKI: The Cypriot entry hasn't been publicly performed yet, but doesn't the title have that winning ring to it? Hmm..?.
4. BELARUS WORK YOUR MAGIC performed by DIMA KOLDUN: This is getting fans hot under the collar with excitement already. However, as his musical employers hail from Mother Russia, complications have arisen with Dima representing Belarus. This means the lyrics may have to change by May 10. Perhaps they could call it: Gain Favourable Results By Exploiting Your Talents. Catchy.
5. ICELAND EG LES I IAFA PINUM performed by EIRIKUR HAUKSSON: Slightly wrinkly rocker Eirikur was the slightly surprising choice of the Icelandic song-choosers (the public) on February 17 with a stadium-friendly tune which beat hot favourite (and sleeve-dodger) Jonsi to Iceland's semi final spot. Presumably, strict fire regulations will forbid the crowd waving lighters during the fast bits.
6. GEORGIA MY STORY performed by SOPHO KHALVASHI: Beginners' luck beckons for Sopho on georgia's first try at that thing called Eurovision. A bit Bjork-meets-Kate-Bush by all accounts. Goodness, gracious. And she wears a duvet when she's singing it.
7. MONTENEGRO HAJDE KROCI performed by STEVAN FADDY: Montengro's debut in its own right will be performed by Stevan, who everyone was expecting to get through, apparently.
8. SWITZERLAND VAMPIRES ARE ALIVE performed by DJ BOBO: A bit earlier than expected, DJ Bobo unleashed his much vaunted 'Balkan hymn' on to the interweb. The fans seem to love it and it is destined to be fighting it out with Belarus at the top of the unofficial polls.
9. MOLDOVA FIGHT performed by NATALIA BARBU: First country to choose their entry (show offs). One believes it to be moody rock stuff.
10. NETHERLANDS ON TOP OF THE WORLD performed by EDSILIA ROMBLEY: Edsilia 'Heaven and Earth' Rombley had the final say on which of her three shortlisted songs would make it through to the Helsinkis semis. And this disco-stomping number is the one she chose over two ballady things. What a gal.
11. ALBANIA: BALLAD OF STONE performed by AIDA & FREDERICK NDOCI: They've already chosed! It translates as 'Ballad of Stone', but in Albanian it's 'Balada E Gurit'. Aida and Frederick Ndoci will sing it. Yes, that Aida and Frederick.
12. DENMARK DRAMA QUEEN performed by DQ: Strangely, a wildcard entrant which didn't get enough votes to reach the Danish final from the qualifying rounds has gone on to win the final itself. DQ is a drag act, singing about a Drama Queen. 'Nuff said.
13. CROATIA JA VJERUJEN U LJUBAV performed by DRAGONFLY feat. DADO TOPIC: Is there enough room left on this line to start a new sentence? Probably not. After the marvoullesness of dirty Severina and her high heels lasts year, this is a bit duff by all accounts. Very unusual for those Croats.
14. POLAND TIME TO PARTY performed by THE JET SET: No sign of Jimbo, but advance word is that this has all sorts of stuff going on in just one song.
15. SERBIA MOLITVA performed by MARIJA SERIFOVIC: Bloke-faced lady Marija will sing Serbia's debut tune as an independent nation. It shows off he rlung capacity to the full, and is already nudging the upper eschelons of fan polls (but songs like that always do).
16. CZECH REPUBLIC MALA DAMA performed by KABAT: Ladies and gentlemen, meine damen und herren, the Czech Republic has arrived at Eurovision. And they've brought a rather rocky number with them too. Just leave it on the table over there with the other gifts. We'll open it later.
17. PORTUGAL DANCA COMIGO performed by SABRINA: If Finland, Greece and Turkey can shake off their no-ESC-win duck, can the Portuguese? You never what could happen, but this is a boppy, dancey thing which seems to be a lot better than Portugal's previous efforts. I'm not allowed to listen to any, so I really can't say...
18. FYR MACEDONIA MOJET SVET performed by KAROLINA GOCEVA: The 2002 FYROM entrant returns, to go through the semi by the skin of a semi-quaver, and get Macedonia straight back in there for 2008.
19. NORWAY VEN A BAILAR CONMIGO performed by GURI SCHANKE: A song which sounds a bit like the title of Spain's 1995 runner-upperer is the Norwegian entry for 2007. Apparently, it's a steaming slice of piping hot schlager, straight from the cheese pipes.
20. MALTA VERTIGO performed by OLIVIA LEWIS: Proof that persistence pays off, Olivia Lewis makes it to the ESC after attempts to represent Malta which stretch back to when she was a foetus. Ira Losco did well after finally making it to the final, so who knows?
21. ANDORRA SALVEM A MON performed by ANONYMOUS: The three people left in Andorra who haven't represented the country have got together to form punk/pop band Anonymous, who will sing for the tiny place in the semi-final. The song translates as 'Save the World'. Is that an order?
22. HUNGARY UNSUBSTANTIAL BLUES performed by MAGDI RUZSA: This lady was chosed to represent the rumbling-tum sounding nation at some posh Hungarian music awards do. She picked the song herself from the 10 on offer. Clever girl.
23. ESTONIA PARTNERS IN CRIME performed by GERLI PADAR: Tanel's ickle sis is the face of Tallinn (and the rest of Estonia) in Finland, with a song supposedly like Pink. Even is she doesn't make it through the semi, she can probably swim home on the Thursday night.
24. BELGIUM LOVE POWER performed by THE KRAZY MESS GROOVERS: The rather dapper, and fun-looking, KMGs will be the cause of many a cheer rumbling about Brussels and its environs at the 2007 semi. The song is known in name only, but the eight-strong group will have to lose two members on the night to meet those pesky Eurovisiony rules.
25. SLOVENIA CVET Z JUGA performed by ALENKA GOTAR: Opera hi-jinks from Alenka as the Slovenes attempt to reach a Eurovision final for the first time since Karmen and her odd boots in 2003.
26. TURKEY SHAKE IT UP SEKERIM performed by KENAN DOGULU: Kenan was confirmed as the Turkish act a long time before the song title was announced. Allegedly, he had trouble writing the thing, hence the gap between the two newsy titbits. Sekerim means 'Sweetheart'. Bless 'im.
27. AUSTRIA GET A LIFE, GET ALIVE performed by ERIC PAPILAYA: The Austrians will send Eric, a man who finished third in the latest series of Pop Idol-clone Starmania. A bit like when the UK packed James Fox off to Turkey with his union jack speedos three years ago. The song is rocky und poppy, and will also be used at this year's Life Ball, the annual Vienna bash raising funds for HIV charities.
28. LATVIA QUESTA NOTTE performed by bonaparti.lv: Six tenors singing in Italian have received the nod from the Latvian public. How marvellous.

And about 48 hours after all that nonsense, get ready for THE FINAL

1. BOSNIA & HERZEGOVINA RIJEKA BEZ IMENA performed by MARIJA SESTIC: The Bosnians have unleased their entry on the ears of Europe, well, the ears of Bosnia and any Eurovision fans who want to download the song from off of the internet. As I maintain my pledge of not listening to *any* non-UK entry until the May 10 semi final, I can't comment any further, but I imagine it will be very dramatic and make ballad lovers wet their pants.
2. SPAIN I LOVE YOU MI VIDA performed by D'NASH: Mision Eurovision consisted of 23,678 acts, being paired off with about seven songs, until boy band D'Nash were selected as the Spanish representatives for two thousand and sevving. With a song written by a Swede.
4. IRELAND THEY CAN'T STOP THE SPRING performed by DERVISH: Respected Irish journalist, and a man who even managed to get miseryguts Sinead O'Connor between the sheets, John Waters, is the man behind Dervish's 'Irish-trad' entry. The title refers to a Czech revolution from 1968, and Latvia is mentioned in the lyrics. It's safe to say lead singer Cathy Jordan won't be having her skirt ripped off mid performance.
5. FINLAND LEAVE ME ALONE performed by HAANA PAKARINEN: Hot favourites Lovex and Thunderstone were well and truly whupped by tits-of-steel rock type Haana Pakarinen to the honour of singing the host entry for 2007 at the Finnish final on February 17. Apparently, it's the national pride of the Contest being in her homeland which encouraged Haana to enter, as she had originally planned to spend May 12 drinking cider and black with some hairy bikers down the park.
9. LITHUANIA LOVE OR LEAVE performed by 4FUN: This is one song that got many an approving nod during Lithuania's really, really complicated national final process. By all accounts, it's a bit 'lounge', so presumably the lead singer will swagger on stage on May 12 and dedicate this to someone devilishly attractive sitting in the corner.
10. GREECE YASSOU MARIA performed by SARBEL: Ricky Martin-ish type Sarbel will swing his thing(s) in Helsinki as the Grecian 2007, after Greek telly took three-and-a-half hours to make their selection from three songs. Greece's entries seem pretty unassailable these days, so there's a strong chance this will be in the Top 10 come May 12.
12. SWEDEN THE WORRYING KIND performed by THE ARK: Hotter than Vesuvius favourites, glam-rock-types The Ark will sing for Sweden. Their song is supposed to sound a bit like Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes, so it's good to see how a 37-year-old hit is proving such an influence on a competition allegedly aimed at rooting out good, modern, popular music.
13. FRANCE L'AMOUR A LA FRANCAISE performed by LES FATALS PICARDS: After years of re-hashing the same old ballad, the French have taken un long hard look at the Contest and gone a bit daffy. This song is dividing people, although it does use Franglish (a mix of French and English) and is probably a bit too much fun to please the snootier hardcore fan.
15. RUSSIA SONG #1 performed by SEREBRO: A girl group with the same name as Professor X's big computer-room place in X-Men have been announced as the Russian reps at Eurovision. Moscow dispatched the KGB (Kute Girlie Brigade) to take the Junior ESC title in December, so can they do the double?
16. GERMANY FRAUEN REGIEREN DIE WELT performed by ROGER CICERO: On International Women's Day, a ditty about ladies ruling the world won the Deutschland ticket to Eurovision. How nice. It's a swing number by flat-cap-and-stubble type Roger Cicero, whom the girls (and some boys)will find rather smashing.
18. UKRAINE DANZING performed by VERKA SERDUCHKA: Drag act (how original) Verka has finally got a ticket to the All Singing Bun Fight with a song that, albeit daft, is catchier than ebola. Crikey.
19. UNITED KINGDOM FLYING THE FLAG (FOR YOU) performed by SCOOCH: Europe's biggest broadcaster used Europe's worst sound mixers and cameramen for this year's MYMU final. Add to that a panel formed of somebody who admitted not watching Eurovision for about 30 years and a woman who kept saying "Eurovish" and it's no surprise we wound up with the campifilarious Scooch with the airline-centric Flying the Flag. There's no doubting it's all good fun, and it's only the very important fans who will turn their nose up at joining in with the aeroplane dance come May 12. This could very easily be our second nil points, but hey-ho!
20. ROMANIA LIUBI, LIUBI, I LOVE YOU performed by TODOMONDO: It wasn't a total surprise to see this win the Romanan heat, as it was tipped by a few pundits. However, after two years of slightly dated Eurodisco, the Rommers have taken a slightly dafter route. The group has also had to change its name from Locomondo, which was already being used by a Greek group.
23. ARMENIA ANYTIME YOU NEED performed by HAYKO: A man who won best singer in all of Armenia in 2003 and 2006 has teamed up with the lyricist of Russia's silver medalling song last year. Ooh. And he was the top choice of both jury and televoters in the national final too. Ooh, again.

If you disagree with anything written here, pop along to Gossip at Dot's and have a heated debate about it.

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